Some clutter is easy to spot. A crowded drawer. A kitchen chair covered in things that need putting away. A desk where every surface seems to have disappeared.
But some of the heaviest clutter we carry is not stored in cupboards. It sits between people.
A sharp word that was never quite settled. A disagreement that keeps returning. The quiet need to prove that we were right. The fear that if we soften, we will somehow lose.
And after a while, the relationship feels crowded. There is no space left for warmth. No room to listen. No place for peace to breathe.
Paul writes in Romans 14:19, “So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.”
That is such a gentle sentence, but it asks something deep of us.
Paul does not say, “Make sure you win.” He does not say, “Make sure everyone sees things your way.” He says: aim for harmony. Build each other up.
But peace needs space.
If every conversation is packed with old frustration, hidden resentment, and rehearsed arguments, love struggles to get a word in. We may still speak politely. We may still sit in the same room. But inside, we are carrying boxes marked, “What you said,” “What you did,” and “Why I am still right.”
Sometimes the most faithful thing we can do is put one of those boxes down.
Building someone up is different from backing down.
Paul is not asking us to pretend that truth does not matter. He is not asking us to ignore hurt, excuse poor behaviour, or avoid honest conversations.
He is asking us to choose a different goal.
Instead of asking, “How do I make my point?” we can ask, “How do I speak truth in a way that leaves room for grace?”
Instead of asking, “How do I get the last word?” we can ask, “How do I leave this person stronger, not smaller?”
That changes the whole atmosphere.
When we were getting ready to move, I shampooed the carpets. But in some rooms, I was moving furniture in a space that was very crowded. But often, it was not because the room was too small. There was simply too much in it. Once a chair was moved, or a box is cleared, or a table shifted, suddenly there was space to get to the carpet all along.
Relationships can be like that.
One small act of release can make room again. A softer answer. A sincere apology. A decision not to reopen an old argument. A willingness to listen without planning your reply.
But hear this: you do not have to clear the whole room today.
You may be tired. The relationship may be complicated. There may be years of hurt behind what you feel. God is not asking you to fix everything before tea time.
Just make a little space.
At home, at work, in your corps or church, or with someone in your neighbourhood, think of one relationship that feels crowded.
Then choose one small act of faith.
Perhaps you will let one comment pass without correcting it. Perhaps you will send a kind message without adding a hidden point. Perhaps you will pray for the person before you speak to them. Perhaps you will decide that today, peace matters more than being proved right.
Not because your voice does not matter.
Not because the hurt was nothing.
But because in Christ, you do not need to win every room in order to know who you are.
You are loved. You are held. You are secure enough to make room for grace.
Question for you: where might God be inviting you to create a little more space for peace today?
Let’s pray.
Jesus, thank you that you meet us with grace. Help us to release what crowds our relationships. Give us courage to speak truth with kindness, wisdom to know when to be silent, and love that builds others up. Make room in us for your peace today. Amen.
Come back tomorrow as we finish the week by thinking about how to learn from the past without living there, and how to keep facing forward with God together.